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Procrastination

By JoAnn Mullen

People remind me that I have a “Vote Nixon” bumper sticker on my car’s left bumper. Many years ago, I decided that if good things come to those who wait, then procrastination must be a virtue.

Procrastination, for you uninitiated readers, is having a long list of things to do and going for a five-mile run instead. Or signing up for an art class and watching 43 videos of Bob Ross painting.

During my teen years I discovered that hard work often paid off after time but laziness always paid off now. Another discovery was that there were no limits to what I could accomplish when I was supposed to be doing something else. Procrastination taught me how to do 45 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in 45 minutes.

As a young adult I learned that I was a perfectionist with a procrastinator complex. I didn’t consider myself a procrastinator, I just thought that I was extremely productive at unimportant things. I convinced myself that I liked doing my work in a deadline-induced panic.

I was persuaded to sign up for a Procrastinator’s Seminar. When I arrived, they had a “Postponed Until Tomorrow” sign on the door. The T-shirt I wore with clever sayings about procrastination had been purchased ten years ago and was in the original packaging. It read, “I’m saving everything to do until the last minute because I’ll be older and wiser then”.

Procrastination is a win-win; you always have something to do tomorrow plus you have nothing to do today.

I discovered I’m not the only procrastinator. Mozart wrote the overture to Don Giovani the morning it premiered.

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